


Trimberly Oneshots For The Hart and Soul

by Ellovesgirls



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: But theres fluff too, F/F, Fluff, I lied theres so much angst, Literally just a bunch of oneshots, Pls just let me live guys, The brotps are strong with this one, little bit o' angst because I can't not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 14:52:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12890268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellovesgirls/pseuds/Ellovesgirls
Summary: Literally just a bunch of oneshots because I can't get enough of my kids.





	1. Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> I feel bad for the angst storm that is my multichapter so here's a little bit of fluff as an apology.

“Trini!” Kim screeched with delight. Trini smirked from where she was nestled in a branch halfway up a large oak tree. In her hands she held a book. In that book was all of Kimberly's notes for biology. The notes which Kim needed to complete their big project. The project worth thirty percent of their grade and which her and Trini were partnered on.

“Come and get 'em, Princess!” Trini sang, sinking deeper against the tree. Laughing, she pulled out a stack of papers. She admired the neat, tidy composition of Kimberly's notes. They were thorough and organized. “Hmm,” Trini said thoughtfully, “So _that's_ why she's always passing those stupid exams.”

“Trini, come on!” Kim called again from the base of the tree.

“Nope.” Trini said popping the 'P' for emphasis. “Quick question, though.” she continued pawing through the papers, “Have you always been such a nerd?”

“I am  _not_ a nerd!” Kim whined as she paced the ground below.  She knew the only way to get her notes was to climb the tree, and there was no way in hell she was doing that. Why did she ever tell Trini  her big secret ?

One might be wondering how the girls found themselves in such a situation. Well, it all began three nights prior. Kim's parents had gone out of town for some business meeting leaving Kimberly alone in a big empty house yet again.

Trini, meanwhile, was busy trying to keep her eyes from rolling out of her head as her mother droned on and on about how church was an important part of a young girl's developmental process. Her mother was about to make yet another comment about Trini's beanie when the familiar ding of her cell alerted her to a text.

“Um, mom, I don't mean to interrupt – No, actually, I do – Zack needs help with homework. I'll be back.” Trini excused herself, taking extra caution to keep her screen hidden,  might her mother catch the name of the actual person texting her.

“Trini!” her mother snapped, her chair crashing to the ground as she tried to chase the smaller girl out of the room.

“June, let her go.” she heard her father say, then, “She's never going to listen anyway.”

Trini rolled her eyes as the dial tone rang on her phone, “You're not supposed to text me between five and six!” she hissed when she heard the click signaling the girl on the other end had answered.

“Sorry,” Kim said sounding not the least bit sorry. “I was lonely and my parents are gone. Can you come over?”

“What do you think I'm doing?” Trini grumbled. Kim's laughter rang through the receiver and Trini couldn't help but smile. She was so fucking  _whipped_ .

“ Hey,” Kim greeted her  at the front door , a large smile plastered on her smug face.

“Shut up.” Trini muttered pushing her way inside. 

 

They ended up eating pizza and watching some of Kim's sappy rom-coms that Trini hated more than Rita,  but always gave in to because how could she say no to Kim? At one point Trini had gotten a text from Zack it was a stupid joke about helping Trini get laid – they may have forgotten to mention to the boys that they were actually dating – and when she refused to tell Kim what it was about, shoving her phone deep into the waistband of her pajama pants, the Pink Ranger had flopped herself over Trini's lap and pretended to be oh so hurt by her girlfriend's refusal to show her what, in Trini's defense, was a really embarrassing message.

“Wow, keeping things from your own girlfriend. What other secrets are you hiding from me?” Kim gave Trini her best 'wounded girlfriend' look and shoved away the hand that was reaching out to pinch her.

“Kim, you literally know everything about me.” Trini mumbled, trying her best to remain strong but she was quickly falling into Kim's carefully laid trap.

“Oh, do I?” Kim smirked moving so she could sit up, one hand on the top of the couch bracing her chin the other snatching the hat off Trini's unsuspecting head.

“Yeah, you do.” Trini narrowed her eyes and snatched the beanie back before grinning mischievously and shoving it down over Kimberly's hair. “Just like I know everything about you.”

Trini knew something interesting was about to happen when Kim only rolled her eyes, her eyebrows flicking up as she pursed her lips, “Nope, not everything. I have a secret.” Kim sang.

Trini huffed, usually she would use her ranger bond to find out if the other girl was lying, but she was enjoying this little game of cat and mouse and she wasn't about to give it up that easily. “Really?” Kim nodded, “Well, by all means, spill.”

Kim laughed loud and fully, it made Trini's heart soar. “I'll never tell you. It's embarrassing.”  her face was bright pink and Trini couldn't stop herself from reaching out and pulling the taller girl into her side.

“ Nothing could be more embarrassing than Jason's awful attempt at a beard.” Trini smirked remembering how Jason had tried to participate in a bet amongst some of his old football buddies. He had lost when Zack and Trini had gotten tired of him complaining about how slow his facial hair grew in and took it upon themselves to shave half of it off when he feel asleep during one of their movie nights. The boss-man had ended up chasing Zack down the streets at nearly one in the morning, his face half shaved while Trini had laughed hysterically in the background, Kim and Billy still in the living room pretending their friends weren't running through Angel Grove in their embarrassing Power Ranger pajamas.

“ Yeah, no, it's not even close.” Kim giggled, “It's just something you wouldn't expect, you know?”

Trini scoffed, “Yeah, like what? If you don't tell me I'm going to call Zack right now and tell him you were the one who changed all the contacts in his phone to random fast food joints.”

Kim huffed indignantly, “That wasn't even me! That was you.”

“Oh, yeah, I guess it was.” she chuckled remembering how angry Zack had been, “But he doesn't have to know that.”

Kim let out a low whine, “Fine, but you have to promise not to laugh.”

Trini held up her hands in mock surrender, “I swear on Zack's life.”

Kim rolled her eyes and lowered her voice like they were kids on the playground hiding from the teachers. “Don't tell the boys because Zack will never let me hear the end of it, but,” she took a deep breath, “I'm afraid of heights.”

Trini stared at her blankly, “Okay?”

Kim was shocked, “What do you mean  _okay_ ?! I just told you my biggest secret. I'm afraid of heights!” the dots still weren't connecting in Trini's mind, “Trin, my Zord is a flying fucking pterodactyl.”

Realization dawned on Trini's face, “Oh! Wait, that's why you're so embarrassed?”

Kim looked down at her hands and shrank back against the couch cushions, “I'm a Power Ranger. I'm not supposed to be afraid of anything, but just going near my Zord makes me sick. I mean, it was different when we were fighting Rita, there was that adrenaline of nearly dying, but whenever Jason suggests we train with the Zords I get so scared.”

Trini gave her girlfriend a soft smile, “ Awe, Princess, you know I'm always here. And I'm sure if you told Jason he'd go easier on you in Zord training.”

Kim nodded sullenly, “Yeah, I know. I just feel so stupid about it. It's such a dumb fear.”

“It's really not, though.” Trini smirked, “Everyone is afraid of something and sometimes we have no clue why.”

“Are you afraid of anything?” Kim asked with wide eyes.

Trini laughed, “Babe, have you met me? I'm the greatest fucking person the world has ever seen. Nothing scares me.”

Kim shoved Trini playfully, “Don't be a dork! I'm serious.”

“Of course I'm afraid of things.” Trini grew solemn. “I'm afraid to leave my window unlocked at night. I'm afraid of the ocean.  I'm afraid of losing you.”

Kim blushed, “You're so cheesy.”

“Maybe, but it's the truth.” Trini leaned in to press a soft kiss to the corner of Kim's mouth, “Don't ever think you have to keep something like that from me. I'm not going to judge you.”

After that night Trini had vowed to help Kim overcome her fear in any way possible. Baby steps first.

 

* * *

 

So, that's how Trini found herself nestled in a branch halfway up the largest oak tree in that particular section of the woods, Kim's bio notes tucked against her chest, studying the storm of anxiety brewing behind Kim's eyes.

“You can do it, Princess.” Trini called down, “I'll be right here the whole time. I'll always be right here.”

“Okay,” Kim let out a long breath and nodded sternly, “Okay, I can do this.” she took hold of a knot in the trunk of the tree and began her ascent.

It was shaky and slow going at first. Kim would move two feet then stop, pulling her body flush against the tree, letting out a few shaky breaths before glancing up to meet Trini's eyes and nodding to let the Yellow Ranger know she was doing alright.

By the time she was halfway up to Trini's branch Kim was sweating and her face was pale. “You're doing good, Kim, keep going. You're almost there. Just a bit further and you can take my hand.” Trini leaned down so her hand was dangling in open space. Kim eyed it with such ferocity that Trini couldn't help the swell of pride in her chest.

Another twenty minutes later Kim was within grabbing distance, and when Kim reached up Trini had never been so proud or so happy to take her hand. She pulled the other girl into the branch beside her.  She gave Kim a few minutes to catch her breath, being extra sure to keep her hand on the small of Kim's back so the other girl knew she wasn't going anywhere.

“Hey,” Trini whispered, “How do you feel?”

Kim took a shaky breath and  stole a quick  glance around, “Like I'm going to fall and die at any moment.” she groaned.

“Kim,” Trini moved her arm so it was wrapped protectively around Kim's shoulders, “ I'm right here. I won't let you fall.”

“Promise?” Kim relaxed a little.

“I swear.” Trini leaned in to capture Kim's lips with her own, the bio notes Kim had faced her fear to get to were long forgotten. That project probably wasn't going to get done any time soon.

 


	2. Happier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in a mood and Ed Sheeran was doing it for me so here's some more angst inspired by Happier by Ed Sheeran. Feel free to listen to while you read if you really want to feel the thing.

 

Trini watched from a distance as Jason pulled Kimberly in for a long, lingering kiss. There was a burning numbness in her chest. She closed her eyes as the heat in her gut boiled her from the inside out. Biting back a scream she turned to the nearest surface, which happened to be a car, and put her fist through the glass.

She ducked down as the sound of shattering glass and a blaring alarm forced the couple apart. For a moment Trini could have sworn she felt Kimberly meet her eyes, but the moment was gone, replaced by a wide smile as Jason cupped her face and whispered something into her ear.

Trini didn't stick around to see the rest. She bolted, running fast and hard, her feet slamming ice cold pavement, her breaths coming in sharp bursts as she sobbed. It stung, how much happier Kimberly looked. It stung that Trini could never put that same glint in the other girl's eye, couldn't make her smile as wide as she did with Jason, couldn't make Kimberly love her back.

It had started after they had defeated Rita. It had started with small touches and shared knowing glances. It had started with Kimberly lying under the stars, Trini's eyes trained on her lips as she spoke about something brilliant. It had ended six months later with Trini standing on the edge of the cliff screaming, clutching her stomach as Kimberly's face fell, the hurt evident in her eyes as Trini destroyed their friendship, ruined her chances at ever being near her love again.

Trini could lie and say all she wanted was for Kimberly to be happy. In truth, Trini wanted Kim to be happy with _her_. It had only been a short time since the girls had stopped speaking. Kimberly had cut herself off from Trini completely, saying she needed space and she didn't want to hurt Trini any more than she already had.

Trini had countered, almost begged Kim to forgive her, told her she wasn't hurt, that everything was fine between them. Another lie. They both knew it was over, their friendship, their sisterhood, their whatever the fuck they could call it. It was over. 

Trini still cried over Kimberly. She would never admit it out loud, but some nights she would sit up in bed calling out for her, wishing, wanting the other girl to show up at her window and lull her back to sleep with promises of safety and home. Some nights were harder than others. There were triggers now, things that sent Trini spiraling into panic attack after panic attack just wishing she could turn back the clock and make things right.

Perhaps if she could turn back time she would stop herself from ever going to that mine in the first place, stop herself from ever meeting her best friend. Maybe then she could sleep at night. Maybe then she wouldn't wake up on a tear stained pillow, her dreams filled with Kimberly and love nonexistent. 

She wanted to forgive herself for the horrible things she had said. She wanted to take every single word back. Bite her tongue and pretend she didn't fall to pieces at the sight of Jason's hand on the small of Kimberly's back, or the thought of them alone after training probably fucking somewhere, hot and dirty. Pretend she didn't wish it was her trapped beneath Kimberly's warm body, hot kisses being trailed down her neck and chest.

The sight of her friend and ex-best friend shouldn't have hurt her the way it did. She should have been happy that Jason was so happy. Ecstatic that Kimberly didn't hate herself so much anymore. She shouldn't have taken it so personally the way Kim had gotten over their friendship so quickly. Trini had been sure to burn every last bridge, every last strand that held them together. She had been spiteful and cruel, not holding anything back.

Trini had hurt the girl she loved and that hurt worse than any pain imaginable. Now she sat in her dark room, the only source of light was the moon shining through her window. Tears blurred her vision as she looked around. Everything reminded her of Kimberly. The shirt Kim had said looked cute on her to water bottle Kim had taken a sip of before pulling Trini over a cliff and trapping her in this endless cycle of la douleur exquise. There was no escaping the pain in her chest or the overwhelming suffocation brought on by the mention of the other girl's name.

Trini put her head in her hands as she began to cry softly. She was lost in that spiral again, her lips and hands moving on their own accord as she crumbled into herself. Books and papers flew across the room as she shoved things off her desk and off her shelves. She screamed silently, feeling the anger and resentment bubble up in her chest.

She was back on the cliff, Kimberly calling after her, she whipped her head around, fire in her eyes and poison on her lips. “What do you want, Kimberly?”

“Just, please, talk to me.” Kim begged, “Tell me what's going on.”

Trini scoffed, “You want to know what's going on? You're a mean girl, Kimberly Hart, and no matter how much you try to convince everyone you've changed, you haven't. You're a horrible, spiteful person who goes around doing whatever the fuck you want because you don't care. You don't fucking care! It doesn't matter who you hurt or whose heart you break because you're Kimberly fucking Hart, and everything will be okay again as soon as you flash those pretty eyes and give that stupidly beautiful grin. And you know what? I hate you. I fucking hate you because I love you and I can't figure out why and I can't make myself stop loving you and it's killing me.” Trini paused letting her words sink in as she wiped tears from her cheeks, “You will never be a better person as long as you live because people like you don't change, and people like me don't even get a chance to help you.”

Kim was sobbing silently as she retreated, hurt etched on her face, fear in her eyes. Trini had hurt her because Trini loved her.

It was a vicious ever ending cycle. Hurt the ones you love so you don't have a chance to be hurt by them. 

Trini couldn't sleep. She was too worked up. Instead she opted for a quick session down in the Pit. To her surprise Jason and Kim were camped out on the cliff, their faces aglow in the soft firelight. Kimberly laughed and Trini swore she felt her heart crack in two.

Kimberly was happy. Happier than she ever was with Trini. Happier than Trini ever could have made her. Maybe one day there would be another and things would be okay between them. Maybe one day Trini would be happy and in love as well. Until then she'd continue to pass her old friends in the hallways, a small smile plastered on her lips to hide the truth; she was breaking inside.

It was true, Kimberly was so in love and so at peace. Trini knew it would happen eventually, knew someday Kim would fall in love, and Trini would be left to pick up the pieces of her crumbling soul. But it wouldn't last between them, he was bound to break her heart, just like many before him and those who would come after him. And when that happened, Trini would be there, ready to put Kimberly back together again. Waiting. Always waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry, angst is the only thing I'm good at. Yell at me in the comments or my tumblr (mmpranger-things) Thanks for reading and I swear not all of these oneshots will be angst. Just some ;)


	3. The Things I should Have Said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly I didn't feel too bad about my multichapter because here's some more angst.

As Trini lay dying the thoughts going through her head weren't far from mundane. She wasn't thinking of the blade protruding from just beneath her ribcage. She wasn't thinking of the numbness spreading from her toes to her fingertips, nor the slick wetness of the ground beneath her. No, Trini was thinking of the bio homework her and Kimberly had been assigned the night before and how she had neglected to finish it. She was thinking of how her mother was going to kill her because Trini didn't do the dishes that morning as she had been asked. She was thinking of her brothers' faces when she had kissed them goodbye that morning.

Trini wasn't dying. The knife in her torso was merely an obstacle, Jason would find a way to fix this, he always did. The sky was beautiful above her, and Trini couldn't help but admire the way the sun had kissed the horizon sending out streaks of purple and pink against the orange backdrop. A swift breeze blew through the streets of Angel Grove carrying the scent of freshly mowed grass and sea water with it. 

Everything was quiet. As soon as  Lord Zedd had knocked her own blade from her hand then used it to stab her the fighting had stopped. Trini couldn't be sure what had happened after that point, but Zedd had disappeared and the civilians had stopped screaming. Children were crying now, their parents trying to console them, to promise the Yellow Ranger would get back up, after all she couldn't die. Could she?

Trini wanted to know where her friends were. Mostly where Kimberly was. God, there was so much she needed to tell the Pink Ranger. So many secrets. Like how she was secretly glad Kim had pulled her over the cliff that day, albeit still holding a grudge over how sly the other girl had been. 

Trini needed to tell her how much it meant to her that Kimberly would willingly set out in the middle of the night, sometimes in the pouring rain, to be in Trini's bed, holding her though a panic attack. Trini needed to tell her that before coming to Angel Grove, before meeting Kimberly, she had no desire to be anything. She had been perfectly  content  floating through life as a fly on the wall, never being noticed, always hiding. Being a Power Ranger had taught her that anyone can be a hero, despite their own personal turmoil. Kimberly had showed her that there was more to life than getting by, that people can change and the world could open up, and everything could be beautiful. 

Everything was getting dimmer, breathing was becoming harder, thinking was becoming exhausting. Where were her friends? This was not how this was supposed to happen! She was supposed to die years from now, laying in a bed in the med bay, like most rangers died, her friends surrounding her, everything quiet as she told them how much she loved them. She wasn't supposed to die alone and bleeding in the middle of the street with hundreds of people she didn't even know surrounding her, begging her to get up.  _This wasn't right_ . 

Trini began to cry. Tears running from the corners of her eyes to the dust below her head. She wanted someone, anyone, to hold her. She wanted to be back in her bed, shaking from a nightmare, curled  up  against Kimberly's chest as the Pink Ranger hummed into her hair, whispering a soothing mantra over and over again, “I'm here now. I won't let anything hurt you.”

A jolt of pain rang through Trini's chest. She wasn't sure if it was the last bit of life leaving her body, or because Kim couldn't keep her safe, couldn't protect her, not from this. She willed her visor to rise so she could say goodbye to the only home she'd ever known. Civilians were watching her carefully. There was one girl Trini recognized but couldn't place, standing amongst the crowd, her green jacket slung loosely over her shoulders, her jaw set as she tried to keep tears from falling, in her hand something glimmered green. Trini locked eyes with the girl,  _It's okay, Yellow. I'll keep them safe._ A voice rang loud and clear in the back of her mind and a sense of relief overcame her. The green girl nodded once and stepped back allowing the crowd to close around her.

“ Trini!” a voice screamed and fresh tears began forming in the back of Trini's throat. No, she wasn't going to die alone.

“Kimberly,” she whispered, her lips cracking with dried blood.

The Pink Ranger shoved through the hoard of people, Red, Blue, and Black right behind her. Kimberly was the first to Trini's side, gently lifting Trini's head to her lap. “Trin, what the hell?” she choked out. “Why the fuck would you take him head on? You're so reckless!” Kim was struggling to speak between sobs.

“Kim,” Jason stopped her by putting a hand on her shoulder, “Trini, it's okay, we're all here now and we're going to fix this. Just hold on. We'll get you to the ship and Zordon can help.”

Trini shook her head weakly, “N-No, he can't-” she paused to cough up a sizable amount of blood, “Zordon can't save us all.” she finished.

Kimberly held her tight, her brown eyes locking with Trini's, holding her there, keeping her from letting go, because Trini knew she would never leave Kim, not without knowing she would be okay.

“Crazy Girl?” Zack said barely a whisper as he took her hand in his own trying to pre s s warmth back into her stiff fingers, “You did it.” she glanced at him, “You killed Zedd.” Trini shook her head slowly, she didn't kill him, she couldn't have, he killed her.

“You did, T.” Jason smiled down on her, his voice  quiver ed as he spoke. “He stabbed you, but you didn't go down. You grabbed his spear and twisted around so you could stab him in the chest with his own weapon.”

“You did good, Trini.” Billy piped up. He was trembling, his face ashen, he had never seen someone di e right in front of him before. Especially not one of his best friends. “We're all very proud of you. We all love you, too.”

Trini shivered as her breaths became shallow and strained. She let her eyes close slowly as each of the boys, even Billy, pressed a final kiss to her forehead.

She felt Kimberly's heart begin to race. She knew there was no alternate ending to this story, no fairy godmother to come and make everything better. There was no escaping fate and this was Trini's.

But Trini couldn't die. Not yet. There was so much more to say. “Kim,” she reached up and Kimberly took her hand pressing it to her cheek, letting Trini stroke her thumb across the tear stricken skin. “Kim, I-”

“Shh, it's okay, Trin.” Kimberly took a deep breath in attempt to stay strong.

“No,” Trini struggled. “No, Kim, I need- I need to tell you-” a sharp pain erupted through everything, causing Trini to gasp.

“Trin?” Kimberly whispered, alarmed.

“Jason, what's happening?” Billy cried. 

“Jason, please do something!” Zack begged.

Jason remained frozen in place, his face grim. There was nothing to be done. He and Trini shared a look and he only nodded. He knew it would kill her faster if they tried to move her. This was it.

“Kim?” Trini pulled the other girl's focus back down to her. 

“Yeah, Trin?” Kim brushed the blood streaked hair back from Trini's forehead, “I'm here now. I won't let anything hurt you.” 

“I wish I told you I love you.” Trini said a final breath brushing through her lips as the pain subsided and everything grew brighter. She would be okay. Her friends would be okay. Kimberly would be okay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, this was painful, I know. Don't hate me though, fluff is coming:)


	4. Mama, She Is With Another Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, have some angst!

It was with a broken soul that Trini came to the conclusion that there is nothing worse than falling in love with your best friend. Especially when that best friend happens to be Kimberly Fucking Hart.

There's a lot of things in this world that hurt. Death, loss, anger. But unrequited love stung the most. Trini liked to imagine that crying actual glass would hurt less than seeing the way Kimberly looked at Tommy Oliver.

Tommy Fucking Oliver. He was just so perfect. He was tall and handsome, funny and smart. He was everything Trini wasn't and that included being a boy. Trini couldn't pretend that when they were partnered together in training she didn't go a little harder on him than she should. And she couldn't pretend that seeing him paired with Kimberly didn't make her hate them both.

There was one particular instance where Trini had arrived early to training to find Tommy and Kimberly already there sparring. She had hid behind a rock, not wanting to disturb the obviously intimate moment or Kimberly would kill her.

Trini watched as Kimberly aimed a sharp kick at Tommy's face only for him to duck and extend his own leg in a sweeping motion, knocking Kimberly's feet out from under her. She landed on her back with a pained grunt, breathing heavily as the dust settled around them.

“You're improving.” Tommy grinned standing over the fallen girl.

“I learned from the best.” Kimberly quipped and accepted Tommy's outstretched hand allowing him to pull her to her feet. Trini watched bitterly as he didn't release Kimberly's hand right away.

“You say you've learned a lot from me, but I still don't know the first thing about you.” blood washed over Trini's tongue as she bit down on her lower lip, hard. “Let me take you out sometime. I would love to get to know you.” Tommy smirked, his brown eyes locking onto Kimberly's.

Trini could feel the other girl's excitement through their ranger link. She knew Tommy felt it too, because he leaned in, cupping Kimberly's face in his hand as he kissed her.

Tears stung Trini's eyes as she crept from the Pit. She skipped training that day. Zack showed up at her window later, but left when she refused to acknowledge his presence.

Billy called her around ten that night. She answered because 1) It's Billy and she would hate herself for ignoring him and 2) Her mother answered the phone and is apparently the only person in the world who doesn't understand the universal sign for _I don't want to talk_.

“Hey, Billy.” Trini answered flatly.

“Um, hi, Trini. It's Billy.” he squeaked anxiously.

Trini couldn't help the small chuckled that escaped her lips, “Yeah, I know, Blue. That's why I said 'Hey, Billy.'”

“Oh,” he said and was quiet for a moment before continuing, “I was worried that you missed training today. Well, we all were, but me especially. I don't like when you're sad, Trini. Why are you sad? Did someone hurt you? Did your mom say something? Do you want to come stay with me for a while? Would that make you less sad?” he spit out rapid fire questions hardly taking the time to breathe let alone allow Trini to answer.

“I appreciate you looking out for me, Blue. I really do. I just don't want to talk about it. It's something I don't think you guys will understand.” Trini said quietly.

“You can talk to me, Trini. I promise I'll try to understand. I might not be as good at giving advice as Jason, or as good at making you laugh as Zack, but I can help if you need me to.” the genuine concern in Billy's voice was enough to bring tears to Trini's eyes.

“It's really complicated, Billy-”

Before Trini could make up some excuse as to why she needed to get off the phone Billy was talking, “This is about Kimberly, right?”

Trini opened and closed her mouth a few times, unable to speak.

“I don't think anyone else knows, Trini. Only me.” Billy reassured her as if he could read her thoughts. Knowing him, though, he probably could. He was more in touch with the Morphing Grid than any of others.

“There's a lot of reasons Kim makes me sad, Billy.” Trini sighed, defeated. “She's my best friend, though, and it would really hurt her to know that I feel this way.” she could sense Billy's nod on the other end and she was telling him everything before she could stop herself. “I've had crushes before. They never last because that's all they are: crushes. But being around Kim is just this whole new thing and I don't really like it. I don't like that I can't make myself stop feeling this way and I don't like that I do feel this way. I especially don't like that I unfairly hate Tommy because of the way I feel over Kim. If I could find a way to forget this whole thing and move on, I would, but you don't just fall out of love, Blue. That's not the way the world works.”

“How do you know you're in love?” he asked with an almost childlike innocence.

“I don't know. You just do, I guess. It's not a very sudden thing. It's more of an over time thing. Like, one day I remember, I was holding her hand and we were just kind of laughing like always. Then another time, months later, I remember we were sparring and she grabbed my wrist and pulled me into her body and all I could think was how nice it would be to kiss her. That's when I knew.” Trini sighed and rubbed a hand across her forehead. Suddenly her brain felt very heavy and her mind foggy.

“It sounds... Difficult.” Billy said.

Trini laughed, she couldn't help it. “It really is, Blue. It really is.”

 

There was a time when Trini thought, hoped, that something more could happen. There was a time when she could feel Kimberly's eyes on her, studying her. Driving made it easier to convince herself that Kimberly felt the same. Kimberly would sit in the passenger's seat, sneaking glances in Trini's direction as she drove. Every time it made the butterflies in Trini's stomach more noticeable.

There was one afternoon, the summer after Rita, when Kimberly decided they needed another girl's day. Trini suggested they go for a drive to her favorite spot to hang for a bit. Kimberly had loved the idea.

The entire ride Kimberly kept looking over, her eyes lingering on Trini's face for moments after Trini turned to meet her gaze. “What you see is what you get, Princess. My face ain't changing.”

“Ha ha.” Kimberly said sarcastically, “You're the one who keeps looking over here!”

Trini snorted, “I'm not. I'm driving.”

“Sure.” Kimberly said softly.

They reached the beach in no time. Kimberly was sprinting for the crashing waves before Trini had even put the car in park. Trini couldn’t help the gentle smile that warmed her chest as she watched the girl she loved bounding along the water’s edge.

“Trini!” Kimberly called, her arms outstretched as she twirled about, “Come on!”

Trini chuckled as she made her way to the water’s edge, slipping off her shoes to feel the ocean’s salty fingers run the length of her feet. “I’m here. What more do you want?”

Kim rolled her eyes and scoffed, “What? Are you opposed to fun now, or something?”

Trini shrugged, “No. I just like watching you be happy for once. It doesn’t happen often, you know.”

Kimberly grinned at her, “I love you, Trini.” Trini’s eyes nearly shot out of her head as her heart raced a marathon around her ribcage. “You’re the greatest best friend ever.” once again, Trini could feel her insides breaking.

“I know.” she said so softly that Kimberly didn’t even notice she had spoken. Trini cast her face downward and focused on the gentle implants of her feet in the sand. It was amazing how permanent the casts seemed at the moment, but how fragile they were. Insignificant enough to be swallowed whole and erased by even the smallest bit of water. Sometimes Trini felt the same, as insignificant as footprints in the sand.

It was a moment before Trini realized she hadn’t heard Kimberly’s annoyingly loud squeals in a while. She looked up. Kimberly had vanished. “Kim?” Trini called scanning the beach for any signs of her friend. Kimberly was nowhere to be found.

“Kim? Where the- AUGH” Suddenly Trini was being pulled backwards into the never ending darkness. There was a rush of mind numbing cold and the familiar sensation of a pair of hands running their way up her arms. Trini kicked to the surface and opened her mouth for a rush of air.

“Got you.” Kim was smirking at her, her hands dropping to Trini’s hips to keep her afloat. Trini blinked in the new light, her mind still a startled mess.

“Jesus, Kim, what the fuck?!” Trini shouted, slapping her hands on the water’s surface hard enough to create a mini wave that washed over Kimberly. “Why the hell would you do that?” Trini growled through chattering teeth.

Kimberly’s smile never faltered, “I’m sorry, babe.” she didn’t sound the least bit sorry.

“Whatever.” Trini mumbled but leaned into Kimberly, accepting an apologetic hug.

Trini closed her eyes as Kimberly held her, trying and failing at pretending she didn’t hope there was more to the hug than just friendship. Kimberly planted a quick kiss on her cheek before pulling back. “When should get going. My mom is going to be wondering where I am.”

“Yeah,” Trini said, trying to hide her disappointment. “Mine too.”

 

Trini was pacing the edge of the cliff, trying to decide if training was worth seeing Kimberly and Tommy being all in love and shit when a soft hand on hers almost startled her over the ledge.

“Hey.” Kimberly breathed.

Trini stared down at their hands, she refused to raise her face to meet Kimberly’s eyes. “What do you want, Kim?”

Trini’s words were harsh, but Kimberly wasn’t backing down. “I want to know why you’ve been ignoring me.” plain and simple. Leave it to the most complicated girl in the world to make the hardest thing in the world so simple.

“I haven’t been ignoring you.” Trini tried to pull her hand back, but Kim only held on tighter.

“Could’ve fooled me.” Kim snapped. Trini was so taken aback by Kimberly’s short tone that she forgot she really _was_ ignoring Kim and she glanced up.

Kimberly didn’t look angry or sad, or even hurt. She just looked like Kim and that was the problem. Trini sighed deeply. “I’m sorry. I just don’t like being around Tommy, and you’re _always_ with Tommy.”

Kimberly snorted, “Are you jealous that I’ve been spending more time with him?”

Trini shook her head, “No.”

“Trini,” Kimberly coaxed, “You have nothing to be jealous of. You’ll always be my best friend.”

The words elicited a broken sob from Trini’s chest, “I don’t want to be.” she cried softly.

“Hey,” Kimberly pulled the smaller girl into her chest and stroked her hair, “Please, Trini, tell me what’s really going on so that I can help.”

“I can’t.” Trini tried to push Kim away but the girl had an iron grip and only squeezed her tighter.

“Is this about me?” Trini shook her head against Kim’s neck, “Is this about _you_ and me?” Trini hesitated before giving a single nod. “Trini, I know.”

“You do?” Trini mumbled.

“Yes. I have known for a while. I was hoping you’d say something, but you never did, so I didn’t push the issue.” Kim loosened her grip so Trini could lift her face.

She closed her eyes as Kimberly cupped her face in her hands, thumbing her tears away gently. “You don’t hate me?”

Kimberly almost laughed, “Hate you?! I could never.”

“Why not? I hate you.” this shocked Kim. She dropped her hands and took a step back.

Kimberly swallowed hard, “Can you tell me why?”

Trini kept her eyes trained hard on Kimberly’s, “Because you’re so happy. Because you’re so happy and it’s not because of me. Because I have to feel this way and you don’t.”

Kim nodded slowly, “And who says I don’t?”

Trini furrowed her brow angrily, “Don’t do this, Kimberly. Don’t. I want to move on. I want to be happy and get better. I can’t do that if you string me along like some charity case.”

Kim stared at her for a long moment before taking Trini’s face in her hands and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. Trini kissed back for a second, her mind lost in a Kimberly induced haze, before she pulled back, shoving Kimberly away. “I like you, Trini, but I like Tommy, too. He makes me happy just like you do. He was honest with me about his feelings, you weren’t.” Trini glared at her, angry tears threatening to fall, “I’ll always be here, Trini, and if things change and you still feel this way, I’ll be waiting.” she leaned in, her lips just grazing Trini’s. “I’ll always be here; _for_ you, or with you.”

Trini watched as Kimberly leaped over the edge of the chasm, disappearing into the pit. She began to cry again. She couldn’t help it.

Trini didn’t go to training that night. Or the next. Or the next. Instead she laid in her bed, fingertips floating over her own lips, trying to hold on to the heat she felt from Kimberly’s mouth. She wanted to feel hopeful, and maybe a part of her did, but at the moment all she could feel was love and heartbreak. If only she would’ve said something sooner, maybe she could be laying with Kimberly and not alone in a dark room.

There really was nothing worse than being in love with her best friend, except maybe the way her best friend looked at Tommy Fucking Oliver. That way the made Trini think, “That could be me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Nests by Keaton Henson. I'm sorry it's been awhile and I'm really sorry to anyone who's still waiting on the You Can Leave Me sequel, it'll happen sometime in the first couple months of next year, I promise. Also I know I've been on an angst kick lately but I have something nice and fluffy planned for New Years. Anyway, thanks for reading and as always comments are super appreciated. Thanks guys!


	5. Not Just Another Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's another attempt at fluff to sooth the soul

“Why do you insist on dragging me to these stupid parties? You always leave me by myself after ten minutes anyway. So why do I need to come?” Trini was laying, sprawled out, on Zack’s bed as he was trying on a fourth shirt.

“Shut it, T. What do you think of this one?” he held his arms out from his sides and turned in a slow circle, a cocky grin plastered on his lips.

The shirt was a black button down. It looked the same as the other three. “Looks good. Can we go now? I’m tired of watching you try on the same shirt again and again.” she rolled off the bed and scooped her bomber up from where she had discarded it by the window.

“Hey!” Zack said grabbing his own coat and rushing after her, “It’s not the same shirt. The one before had a pocket.”

Trini let out a breathy chuckle, “C’mon, loser. We’re gonna be late.”

“Bye, mom! Going to that party at Kim’s. Be back around one-” he was cut off when Trini yanked him harshly through the door.

“You didn’t say the party was at Kim’s.” she hissed.

“It’ll be fine, T. You don’t even have to seen her if you don’t want to.” Zack slung his arm across his smaller friend’s shoulders, “You act like you guys aren’t best friends.”

Trini shrugged sullenly as they walked, leaves crunching underfoot. There was something comforting about the California winter, the way it never felt harsh, it always seemed to be raining or about to rain. It much different than the freezing cold winters she had been subject to when her parents had moved them to the east coast for a couple years. Trini was so happy – well as happy as one could be when moving for the fourth time in six years – when her parents told them they were going back to the west coast. Trini hated snow.

“T?” Zack nudged her again, “Where’d you go, dude?”

“Huh?” Trini shook her head clear of all weather related thoughts, “Oh, sorry. I was just… thinking.”

“Thinking? About Kim?” Zack laughed loudly as he ducked Trini’s swinging fist. “What’s going on between you guys anyway? Are you fighting?”

Trini shook her head and kicked a pebble out of her path before answering, “Not really. I kissed her.”

“You what?!” Zack screeched followed by a loud thump and silence.

“Zack?” Trini called, then begrudgingly she turned around. Trini crumpled to her knees, tears streaming down her face as she struggled to control her laughter. Zack was on his face in the dirt, his ass stuck up in the air, his legs tangled around a fallen tree. “What the hell?” Trini wheezed.

“Shut up and help me.” Zack’s grumblings were muffled by the dust.

Still laughing Trini shoved the tree off Zack’s legs and hoisted him to his feet. He had a large streak of mud from his cheek down to his chin. “Clean yourself up, you heathen, and let’s go.”

Zack wiped his face stubbornly and jogged after Trini. “You kissed Kim? Like an actual, on the lips, kiss?”

Suddenly Trini regretted telling Zack anything. “Yes. I kissed her. On the lips.”

Zack’s jaw dropped practically to the ground. “And? What happened then? You can’t leave me hanging, bro!”

Trini’s stomach did a flip. They were getting a little too close to Kim’s house to be having that particular conversation, “She kissed me back.” she said nonchalantly, like it wasn’t the greatest kiss of her life. “She kissed me back, and it was,” she sighed, “Good.”

“Good?!” Zack guffawed, “The girl you’ve been in love with for two years kisses you back and it’s good?!”

Trini could feel the heat rising to her cheeks and she silently thanked the universe that it was too dark for Zack to notice. “I don’t know, Zack! What do you want me to say? It was amazing, and perfect, and everything I ever wanted it to be! Okay?” she snapped as they approached the house. It was glowing and the bass was so loud it shook the ground beneath their feet.

“Well then what’s the problem, Crazy Girl?” Zack gave her a small, lopsided grin.

Trini glanced at the house before lowering her voice, “I’m scared, okay? I’m afraid it was just a one time thing and she doesn’t feel the same. Even if she does, what if she’s angry at me? I didn’t really hang around to talk about my _feelings,_ or whatever.”

Zack shook his head, “You didn’t run, did you?”

“I ran.” she said matter-of-factually.

“Jesus, T!” he chuckled then grabbed her arm, pulling her toward the door. “Let’s go. You need to make up with Kim. I’m pretty sure you’ll be okay.”

Trini chewed the inside of her cheek anxiously and allowed Zack to lead her the rest of the way.

Inside the party was in full swing. Kim had pushed the furniture to the wall so the living room was a makeshift dance floor. Trini watched from the couch. Per usual Zack had ditched her after ten minutes in favor of yet another failed attempt at getting with Tommi Oliver.

The music throbbed in the back of Trini’s mind. She watched as kids danced and chatted and sipped on unmarked cups. There was a bubble of anxiety deep in her chest and her armor hummed beneath her skin. It could have meant one of two things. Either another baddie was about to take his chances on the Zeo Crystal, or-

“Hey.”

Damn. Trini would have rather taken her chances on a villain.

“Hey,” Trini said trying to mask her nerves. She hadn’t seen Kim since the kiss and a party wasn’t exactly the place she had in mind to discuss the whole thing. But, never-the-less, here she way, her raven colored hair slightly mussed from dancing, a thin layer of sweat coated her forehead and for the first time Trini was truly aware of how suffocatingly hot it was in the house. “You look nice.” she said, eyeing Kim’s pink crop top and black skinny jeans.

Even in the dim lighting, Trini could see the blush that spread over Kim’s chest and up to the tips of her ears. “Well, nice wasn’t exactly what I was going for, but thanks.”

Trini smirked, “And what were you going for? Hot? Because you got that nailed. I just thought ‘nice’ would be a better conversation starter.”

Kim laughed and a weight lifted off Trini’s shoulders. Of course Kim wasn’t angry. It was as if the kiss had never happened. “Here, I thought you could use a drink.” she handed Trini a cup.

“Thanks.” she smiled up at Kim gratefully. “You know, I really hate parties.”

“Yeah?” Kim said sliding down next to her, her fingertips brushing Trini’s thigh. “And why’s that?”

Trini scoffed, “There’s always too many people, and it’s always too hot. You can’t take a step without running into some dude who only showed up to get laid. The only good part is you.”

Kim giggled and shoved Trini playfully, “Wow, resident bad ass Trini Gomez actually likes someone.”

“Shut up, Hart.” Trini mumbled, but she was smiling. “Can we leave?”

Kim took a look around, her eyes settling on Jason who was leaning against a wall, nodding eagerly at something Billy was saying. She turned back to Trini and grinned, “I thought you’d never ask.”

 

They ended up on Kim’s diving ledge an hour later, a bottle of cheap wine to pass between them. Halfway through the bottle they were both still relatively sober, just a bit happier.

“You know,” Kim giggled, “I hate parties, too.”

Trini snorted, rolling her eyes. She watched as Kim put her arms up and twirled in a circle under the sky. The full moon throwing a broken mirror of light over her face. Trini felt her pulse quicken under her skin as all of her senses suddenly became very aware of the pink ranger’s presence.

Kim laughed again as she collapsed into a heap next to Trini, her head coming to rest in the smaller girl’s lap. “Why do you throw them if you hate them so much?”

Kim closed her eyes, blindly seeking out Trini’s hand and bringing it up to her cheek. “How else am I supposed to spend any time with you? You always get so weird when we’re alone so I figured parties are so crowded you don’t feel any pressure to talk to me.”

Trini brushed her thumb over Kim’s cheek, then moved to run her fingers through the other girl’s hair, taking extra care around any knots. “I like spending time with you, Kim.”

“And I like kissing you, but you like to run more.” Kim’s eyes were still closed, a small, content smile on her lips. She didn’t see the shame that fell over Trini’s face.

“I’m sorry, Kim.” she whispered. “You scared me.”

“I scared you?” she asked slowly, Trini’s fingers still rippling through her short locks. “You’re the one who kissed me.”

Trini chuckled, “Yeah, but I didn’t expect you to kiss me back. Then when I pulled away and you tried to kiss me again, I don’t know, I guess I just was unsure of what to do. So, I ran.”

Kim opened her eyes. They were tired and soft, but also innocent, like she couldn’t believe she was actually living in that moment. “You could have kissed me again. That would have been something to do.”

Trini gazed down at the beautiful girl in her lap, “Yeah, I guess it would’ve.”

Kim watched her carefully, pushing herself into a sitting position so her face was inches from Trini’s. “So, are you gonna?”

Trini swallowed audibly, “Gonna what?’

“Kiss me, you dork.” Kim whispered, taking Trini’s face in her hands and pulling her in.

This kiss was nothing like the first one. The first one had been slow and unsure. This one was fast and affirmative. Kim’s hands on her face and her fist in Kim’s hair was grounding. Trini was afraid that if she let go she’d float away.

Kim pulled away, resting her forehead on Trini’s. Trini didn’t want to open her eyes, afraid that if she did she’d forget the feel of Kim’s lips against hers or the gentle humming of Kim’s steady breaths.

“If you run away, I swear, I’ll kill you.” Kim laughed.

Trini ran her fingertips down the length of Kim’s jaw, “I’m never running again.”

Kim pulled back and grinned at her. “Good because I’d really like the chance to kiss you again.”

“So do it.” Trini smirked and Kim was kissing her again. Trini decided that maybe parties weren’t that bad after all, especially if the ended with her and Kim kissing under the stars as the faint sounds of music were carried through the trees on the sweet smelling wind. Trini knew she absolutely _never_ run again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of fluff to try to even out the unholy amount of angst I write. This is still kinda angsty, but I have a New Years fic that will be 100% fluff. Thanks for reading guys!


	6. Yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's more fluff to prove to y'all that this is more than just angst. pls let me live guys

Trini furrowed her brow in frustration as her phone buzzed for the third time that morning. Kimberly knew she was in class and she knew that Trini would get in a shit ton of trouble if her professor heard her phone going off.

“Trini? Are you okay? You look upset.” Billy leaned across his desk smiling at her. His brown eyes were slightly bloodshot. Trini would be willing to bet any money that he had spent most of the night fiddling away in his dorm room on his latest project.

“I’m fine, Blue,” Trini whispered back, “Kim won’t stop texting me.” her face grew red as her phone buzzed again. She grabbed it from her bag and quickly set it to silent, but not before taking a quick glance at her messages.

“Is she alright?” Billy peered over her shoulder and almost laughed aloud. “Is that-”

“Yes, it fucking is.” Trini growled as she shoved her things into her bag. Her professor didn’t even falter as Trini said her goodbyes to Billy and rushed out.

“Kimberly Ann Hart, I swear to God!” Trini shouted as she burst through the door of their dorm.

“Trini, shush,” Kimberly sped to the door, shutting it quickly and quietly. “Please, don’t freak out.”

“Too late, Princess.” Trini dropped her things and folded her arms over her chest. It was hard to appear intimidating, especially since her girlfriend was four inches taller than her, but as soon as she set her jaw in a hard scowl she saw Kimberly’s eyes fall to the floor.

“Don’t be mad, baby.” Kimberly pouted, putting her hands on Trini’s shoulders. She leaned in so her lips were a breath away from Trini’s, “You’re no fun when you’re mad.”

Trini swallowed hard, trying her best to stay mad, but Kimberly was making it so damn _difficult_., “Please,” Kimberly breathed pressing a slow kiss to the crux of Trini’s jaw, “Baby.” she moved her lips to Trini’s earlobe as her hands dropped to Trini’s hips. “Do something crazy with me.” Kim’s teeth captured her earlobe tugging gently.

Trini lost all composure then, her glare dissipating as her eyes flickered closed. “Fine.” she groaned, pulling away as Kimberly clapped excitedly. “I’m not taking the fall when you get caught, though. And you owe me one.”

Kimberly winked, a sultry smile crossing her lips as she pressed a quick kiss to the corner of Trini’s mouth, “I’m sure we can work something out.”

Trini cursed under her breath and followed her girlfriend into the bathroom. “Is it in here?” she asked peering around Kimberly’s body.

“Shh,” Kim warned stepping aside so Trini could see, “Yeah. In the shower. I didn’t know where else to put it.”

Sure enough, huddled in the corner of the hard shower floor was a small ball of fluff. “Where’d you find it?”

“It was outside, curled up under the dumpster behind Dickinson Hall. I heard it crying when I was walking home last night. If you hadn’t spent all night with Zack then you would have already had this conversation.”

Trini rolled her eyes, “You named it didn’t you?”

Kimberly smiled brightly, “Yep!” she carefully lifted the small creature into her arms, holding it flush against her chest. “I thought about Tiger, or even Saber, because I am just _obsessed_ with you.” she joked taking Trini’s hand and leading her to the bed. She curled up leaving just enough room for Trini to cuddle up next to her before placing the small body in Trini’s hands. “But then I just looked at her and I knew her name was Yellow.”

“Yellow?” Trini squeaked as the small baby in her arms squirmed. Kimberly hummed and laid her head on Trini’s shoulder, sneaking a quick kiss to the curve of her neck. Kim giggled as Yellow began to purr loudly.

“I think she likes you.” Kimberly ran her fingers down the kitten’s tiny spine.

“She’s cute, but totally illegal.” Trini sighed, “If Jason sees her he’ll flip. You know he’s a total hard ass, Ranger or no, he’ll kick us out.”

Kim nodded and took the kitten back, adjusting so she could lay down with Trini’s head on her chest and the kitten on her belly. “We’ll just have to be secretive then.”

Trini smirked, burying her face in Kimberly’s neck, “You couldn’t keep a secret if you tried, Princess.”

“You were my secret for ten months, Trini.” Kimberly ran her finger’s through the smaller girl’s hair. “You were my favorite secret.” The black kitten purred loudly from her place on Kim’s belly. Trini was so warm tucked in Kimberly’s arms, gentle finger’s weaving away the day’s knots and anxieties, that when she closed her eyes there was no fighting it when sleep overtook her.

 

Trini woke up two hours later to find two bright yellow eyes boring into her own. “Hi, Yellow.” Kimberly sighed contently beneath her and Trini smiled. The whole scene was so domestic, it was everything Trini had always wanted: Someone to hold her in her sleep and share special secrets with.

She stuck her index finger out and gently booped the kitten on the nose. It blinked lazily as Trini giggled quietly. “Yellow, huh? She’s such a dork.” Trini whispered to the little creature, curling her finger’s in Kimberly’s loose tank top. She lifted her head so she could see Kimberly.

Sure Kimberly was a dork, but she was Trini’s dork. Trini’s perfect dork. She took a moment to admire the sharp curves of Kimberly’s jaw and nose and her soft feather-like skin and cheeks. Trini always found it so amazing how there could be someone so smart and funny and beautiful in the world. She found it even more amazing that that someone could love her back.

Kimberly let out another long breath and opened her eyes. “Hey,” she smirked. “Do you always watch me sleep, or is this new?”

“Yeah, because I have nothing better to do than watch my girlfriend sleep,” Trini stuck her tongue out and Kim giggled. “You’re so much less annoying when you’re sleeping. Then I don’t have to listen to you whine.”

“You love it.” Kimberly wiggled her eyebrows.

“I love _you_.” Trini leaned up to capture Kimberly’s lips with her own. The taller girl whined, pulling Trini on top of her to straddle her hips.

Trini happily obliged, slipping her hands under her girlfriend’s shirt to drag her nails over the strong ridges of her abdominal muscles. Things were getting heavy fast.

Suddenly, Kimberly scratched her nails harshly down Trini’s back causing her to pull away abruptly, “Ow, Kim what the hell?” she panted.

“What?” Kim whined, shifting her hips eagerly, anxious to get back to what they were doing. “I didn’t do anything.” she held up her hands to show her innocence.

“Sure,” Trini said narrowing her eyes. Then another sharp pain climbed up her back, “Ow, fuck.”

Kimberly burst into uncontrollable laughter, her face red, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I told you she likes you.” she managed to wheeze out.

Trini groaned as Yellow maneuvered her way up her back and on to her shoulder. “She’s not allowed to stay if she’s gonna be cock blocking me all the time.” she grumbled.

Kimberly chuckled and pulled the baby off Trini’s shoulder while simultaneously bringing the smaller girl down to her chest, “Awe, babe, you cock block yourself.”

Trini scoffed, “What do you mean? I’ve got game.”

Kimberly pressed a kiss to her hair, “Sure you do, sweetheart. If it makes you feel better I’ll say it too. Ready? You, Trini Gomez, have game.” she couldn’t keep it together any longer. Her laughter reverberated through her chest.

“Ha ha, very funny.” Trini said sarcastically, but she laughed too.

 

Twenty minutes later, Trini had pried herself from the warm embrace of her girlfriend and found her way to her last class of the day, completely ignoring the fact that she skipped almost two others. Zack grinned at her from his seat in the back of the room. He moved his stuff so she could take the desk next to him.

“Billy told me about the cat.” he chuckled, “You are so gonna get kicked out of your dorm.”

Trini glared at him, slugging him in the arm as she said, “Only if you spill to Boss Man over there.” she glanced at Jason and smiled sweetly as he waved.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.” he patted her arm affectionately. “You know, it’s weird.”

“What?”

“You’re so different than you were two years ago when we met in that mine, and it’s not because we’re in college now, or whatever, you were just so closed off and distant. Then, Kim happened and you opened up a bit more. But never in a million years did I ever imagine you and her living together. With a kitten. It’s sweet.” she rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t stop the crash of emotion that flooded her chest, “I’m so proud of you, T. My mom told me the day she met all of you that you and Kim were meant to be, but I thought she was nuts. I’m happy for you, Crazy Girl.”

“Wow, thanks, Zack. That means so much. I love you. I really do. Even if you’re an insufferable idiot most of the time.” Trini gave him a proud grin.

Zack opened his mouth to reply but was silenced by an angry looking professor. He returned a sheepish smile and punched Trini in the arm playfully.

Halfway through the lecture Trini’s phone buzzed _again_. This time Trini didn’t ignore it. She pulled it out and opened up her messages. She was met with a soft Kimberly hold their new little monster against her cheek. Her eyes were closed and her lips drawn up in a half-smile as the sunlight glimmered over her angelic features. Yellow was nuzzled contently against Kim.

Suddenly Trini didn’t mind the insistent texting so much. Just as long as they were from her wonderful girlfriend. And as long as she could return home to that amazing girl and their tiny little secret.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I got the message and here's another fluffy piece for you heathens. Now please let me return to my hole of despair and emotional turmoil to write my angst in peace. Thanks for reading guys and stay tuned for a super domestic New Years piece!


	7. New Year's Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year's and as promised here is a 100% domestic fluff brot6 for y'all

New Year’s, in Trini’s opinion, was the absolute most bullshit celebration in the history of meaningless traditions. It was just an excuse for people to get wasted and do things they always wanted to do but with the mask of alcohol in case their plans didn’t go as hoped. It was an excuse for people to make empty promises to improve their lives that ended up falling through a month, sometimes less, in to the new year. Trini hated it all.

Of course that meant Kimberly loved it. Kim loved the parties and the celebration. She loved the TV specials and the music. She even loved the resolutions she made but ended up giving up on a few weeks later. Which is why the day after Christmas Trini ended up in Kimberly’s finished basement, sprawled out on the couch, comfortably drifting in and out of consciousness as the other girl chatted aimlessly about her plans for the upcoming holiday.

“What do you think?” Kimberly’s voice floated through Trini’s mind.

“About what?” Trini grumbled, lifting her feet so Kim could sit down.

“Jesus, Trin!” Kim scolded with a pinch to Trini’s calf.

“Ow! What?” Trini was fully awake now.

“Do you ever listen? I asked what you thought about throwing a New Year’s party here since my parents will be out of town.”

Trini smirked playfully as she pushed herself up on her elbows, “You just want an excuse to kiss me in front of all our friends.”

Kim rolled her eyes but she didn’t deny it, “Unlike you, I actually enjoy celebrating with my friends.”

“How big will this party be?” Trini asked, beginning to really consider it. If her girlfriend wanted to throw a party then who was Trini to stop her.

“Probably just us, the boys, and Tommy. I really don’t see the need to have a hundred people here, and I don’t really want to spend the night with a hundred people.” Kimberly’s face broke into a soft smile, “I want to spend the night with my favorite people.”

“Ugh!” Trini groaned letting her head fall back on to the sofa, “Okay, as long as it’s just the six of us.”

“Yay!” Kim laughed giddily and moved to press a kiss to Trini’s cheek, “This is gonna be fun. I promise.”

True to Kimberly’s word, five days later Trini was back at her house asleep on the couch once more as Zack shouted at Jason to loosen up.

Trini was only half asleep when she felt the couch shift under the weight of another body.

“Hi, Trini.” Billy’s calm, collected voice was a relief.

“Hey, Billy.” she muttered, not opening her eyes.

“You’re sleeping.” he said.

“Mhmm. I’m trying to.” she rolled over so her face was to the back of the couch. Trini loved Billy, but he really couldn’t take a hint.

“Why?” Billy asked innocently.

“Because I hate parties and I hate New Year’s but I like sleep.” Zack’s stupid howl as Tommy turned up the music caused Trini to wince.

“Kimberly is throwing this party for you, I think.” this was enough for Trini to open her eyes.

“What do you mean?” she sat up, rubbing the tired feeling from her eyes.

Billy smiled at her, he was gripping a small blue notebook in his left hand. He tapped his pencil nervously on the cover. He usually only did that when he was close to a breakthrough on a new invention.

“She was telling me two days ago about how much you hate New Year’s Eve and how you think it’s all some corporate scheme. She wanted to show you that it’s about so much more than parties and food. She wanted to show you how it’s about family. We’re a family Trini, that’s why we’re all here. We all love each other and wanted to be together today. It’s about celebrating another year that we’ve kept Angel Grove safe and another year that we’re together. Kim knows how hard it is for you to feel safe with other people and sometimes even with us. This is about showing how much we all love you and each other.”

Suddenly the carpet beneath Trini’s feet was really interesting. “I’m sorry, Billy.”

“For what?”

“For being a jerk about this whole thing.” she glanced up at Billy. Normally he looked uncomfortable and lost in social settings, but now he looked calm, safe, happy to be with his friends. “Thank you, Billy, for helping me to understand.”

“We’re a family. We help each other.” he met Trini’s smile and then opened his book, returning to his calculations.

“That we do, Blue.” she gave him a loving pat on the shoulder before getting up to join Zack behind the bar.

“Well, look who’s decided to join the fun, Princess.” he grinned at Kimberly as she joined them, sliding into the seat next to Trini. “What’ll it be ladies?”

“Rum and coke, please.” Kimberly smiled at Trini, her hand coming to rest on her knee, “You having fun yet?”

Trini accepted the drink from Zack and nodded, “Billy told me your agenda behind all of this.”

Kim blushed, “He was supposed to keep that between us.”

“You know Billy.” Zack butted in, “He loves us too much to run around keeping our secrets.”

Trini glared at the black ranger, “Could you fuck off for ten minutes please?”

Zack grinned crazily and leaped over the bar, “Parkour!” he shouted before tackling Tommy from behind.

“What the fuck, Zack?!” Tommy screeched. Kim and Trini watched, amused, as Tommy wrestled around on the floor eventually trapping Zack in a headlock.

“She’s going to be a great asset to the team.” Kimberly thought aloud.

“Yeah, she is.” Trini covered the hand on her knee with her own. “But she’ll never be as good as us.”

“Good ol’ Pink Lemonade.” Kimberly chuckled, then, “So, what exactly did Billy tell you?”

Trini glanced at the boy sitting on the couch, his knees folded underneath him as he wrote meticulously. She smiled when she saw Jason approach him, his hand falling to Billy’s shoulder as he likely asked him what he was working on.

She recounted her conversation with Billy as Kimberly listened intently.

“I’m glad you threw this party, or whatever.” Trini finished. “Billy was right, tonight isn’t just about the shit that comes along with the holiday. It’s about us being together as a family.”

Kimberly regarded her warmly, never separating their hands as she laid a gentle kiss on Trini’s forehead.

 

At thirty seconds until midnight the six rangers were all cuddled up on Kimberly’s couch. Billy on the end with Jason beside him chatting about his latest design for something called wrist morphers. Tommy saw between Jason and Zack, they all pretended they didn’t see Zack’s arm curled around her shoulders. Trini was next to Zack, her head resting on Kimberly’s chest as they watched the last seconds of 2017 ticking away.

“We did good things this years, guys.” Jason spoke up. “I’m proud of us. Next year will be bigger and better for all of us.”

“We’re Power Rangers, Jace.” Trini snorted, “It doesn’t get any better than that.”

“Well, being a Power Ranger and having a cute girlfriend.” Kimberly whispered in her ear.

“Shut up,” Trini laughed wrapping her arms tighter around Kimberly.

They counted down in time with the television and when the final second ticked away and the ball had dropped they all jumped to their feet, cheering. Kimberly pulled Trini in for a soft kiss as the boys and Tommy whooped and hollered.

“I love you.” Kimberly whispered as she pulled away. They hadn’t talked about the _L-word_ yet. Trini had been adamant about not rushing things, about making sure they were both on the same page. Trini was tired of _slow_. She knew right then and there just how she felt.

“I love you, too, Princess.” she grinned cupping Kimberly’s face in her hand and bringing her in for another tender kiss.

“Okay, break it up you two.” Zack’s annoying voice ripped through the moment like a bucket of cold water.

“Shut up, Zack! You’re just jealous you don’t have anyone to kiss.” Trini taunted.

“Oh, really?” Zack wiggled his eyebrows. Trini was a hundred percent sure he was going for Tommy when he turned around, but to her surprise he took Jason in his arms and pressed a brotherly kiss to their leader’s cheek.

They all laughed, even Billy as Jason struggled to get out of Zack’s iron grip, his face almost as red as his armor. “You’re crazy.”

“Yeah, I am!” Zack grinned as he made his rounds, kissing each of the rangers, aside from Billy who graciously accepted a quick hug, on the cheek.

Trini glanced around the room at each of her friends. Maybe New Year’s wasn’t so bad after all. Especially if she got to spend it with her family. Her _real_ family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually hate writing fluff because I feel I'm so much better at angst, but I really enjoyed writing this. I hope you guys love it as much as I do! Also I have officially started the sequel to You Can Leave Me! Stay tuned on my tumblr (mmpranger-things) for any announcements regarding it. Happy New Year's guys, stay safe and have a good holiday :)


	8. Nobody Dies Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting this new year off right with a whole lotta angst.

It had been three long months since the last time Trini had seen Kimberly Hart alive and she had yet to venture outside her normal rut. Life had become less of an adventure to Trini and more like a mindless video game where she couldn’t seem to get past the third level. It was repetitive misery.

Home. School. Training. Home. Repeat.

Home. School. Training. Home. Repeat.

Over and over again until she could break herself out of this fog. Part of her was worried she would never escape. She was destined to be stuck in Angel Grove until her duties as a Power Ranger were fulfilled. Who knows how long that would be. For all Trini knew she would spend the next thirty years passing by that same Krispy Kreme Kimberly would drag her to nearly every day after training.

Trini hadn’t set foot on that street in nearly three months, and now Zordon and the remaining rangers expected her to spend the rest of her life pretending it didn’t exist. How could she? How could she just forget Kimberly? The girl was her best friend, her first love, the only person Trini would ever love and she was sure of it.

Everything Trini had become was because of Kimberly. Everything Trini loved about herself, she only loved because of Kimberly. She hardly looked in the mirror at all these days. Couldn’t face that cocky smirk that stared back at her every morning when she brushed her teeth. Kimberly had told her time and time again how much she loved that smirk.

It wasn’t just the little things Kimberly had left behind that had Trini reeling. It was the things she took with her when she left. Trini spent her sleepless nights trying to decide what she missed more; the smell of Kimberly’s lavender shampoo washing over her as they slept, entangled in each other’s arms, or perhaps the way Kimberly had always looked to her before doing anything risky, as if she needed reassurance that she wasn’t alone.

How ironic.

In life they were together.

In death, alone.

The one thing Trini wished she could forget, she knew she never would. Never _could_.

 _Nobody dies alone_. Jason had yelled during the battle with Rita. It was an unspoken agreement they knew they would keep until the very end. Too bad fate had other plans.

Trini was almost a mile from where Kimberly was facing off with four Putties. Jason was busy getting Billy to a safe place. He had been injured somewhat badly. Zack was pressed against Trini’s back, panting heavily as they fought to keep Lord Zedd as far away from the crystal as possible.

“C’mon, Crazy Girl! You got this!” Zack yelled encouragement as Trini ducked a swinging Putty.

“Fight back!” Jason yelled over the coms, and a new energy surged through Trini’s fatigued muscles as she downed another Putty.

Trini lost herself in an adrenaline induced haze as everything faded around her. Even Zack’s heavy breathing became background noise to the sound of her own heart beating in her ears. The only thing that could drag her back to reality was a heart wrenching scream that echoed over the valley and seemed to halt the spinning of the earth and momentarily freeze all fighting.

Trini’s stomach did a backflip as she put her foot through the body of a Putty instantaneously demolishing it. She knew what that sound meant, she just didn’t want to think about it. “Zack?” she yelled.

“It’s alright, I got this. Go!” the Black Ranger gave her a harsh shove from behind, and she was sprinting as fast as she could toward the last place she saw Kimberly. She could feel the crushing panic through their ranger link. Kimberly was scared. And lonely.

Trini knew before arriving at Kimberly’s body that the other girl was already gone. The link had given off a deafening cracking sound in the back of her skull as it dissipated, reduced to nothing more than a buzzing noise at the base of Trini’s brain. She didn’t stop though, wouldn’t let herself believe the truth as she only sprinted faster.

The Pink Ranger was lying in a heap amongst the rubble of a collapsed building. Trini could see the glass as she approached. It was sticking up at a jarring angle from beneath Kimberly’s ribcage, blood sent ugly red streaks of light exploding over the battle scene like flames consuming Kimberly’s last breaths in their fiery embers. It was an image that would haunt Trini for the rest of her life.

“No!” a guttural scream erupted from Trini’s throat as she willed her visor to rise, rushing to Kimberly’s side. She was on her knees in the rubble, ignoring the pain and blood gushing from places the glass had sliced her armor. _Wasn’t this shit supposed to make them near indestructible?_

“Kim?” Trini sobbed, gasping weakly for air as she forced Kimberly’s helmet off, cradling the broken girl’s head in her arms. “Kim, please.”

Blood dripped from the corner of Kimberly’s mouth, her once beautiful brown eyes were frozen in a far-off stare. Another broken scream tore Trini’s chest apart as she cradled Kim’s lifeless body against her chest.

Out of all the ways to die, alone and bleeding in the middle of the street was not what Kimberly deserved. Trini should have been there, should have held Kimberly’s hand and told her it was okay to let go, told her she was loved and that they would be alright. Trini should have pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead as her last breaths escaped her lips. Trini should have never left Kimberly to fight alone. Maybe then she wouldn’t have died. At least not alone.

The other rangers were there, then. Each of them crying, grieving in their own way. Trini didn’t notice a single one of them. Not when the only place she could rest her eyes without feeling like a thousand knives were stabbing her in the heart was on Kimberly’s face. Once the blood was wiped away and her eyes closed –

“Trini, I need to do it.” Jason whispered, reaching once more to touch Kimberly. This time Trini didn’t hit him. She let him do it.

– it was easy to pretend Kimberly was only sleeping.

Maybe they were all sleeping. Maybe this was just one big nightmare and Trini would wake up, clutching at the sheets, sweat running down her back in an icy sprint, only for Kimberly to pull her down into a warm embrace. “It’s alright, baby. I’m here.” she would whisper against Trini’s hair as her fingers traced soothing circles along Trini’s spine.

Yes, that was it. It was all a dream.

But it wasn’t.

No matter how many times Trini woke up screaming in the darkness no one was ever there to pull her back down. Sometimes Jason or Zack would call, offering to come stay with her, watch over her as she slept, but she only ever denied them. They knew she would never say yes. Not as long as they weren’t Kimberly.

It wasn’t their fault she let the team fall apart. After Kimberly had died she didn’t see a point in anything. For six weeks she didn’t train. It wasn’t until a random burst of Putty activity in downtown Angel Grove called for the Rangers' help did she realize how much she was actually hurting the team by avoiding them.

Once again she found herself back to back with Zack, only this time she was struggling to breath, she was tripping up, forgetting basic technique. Kimberly would have been so disappointed.

A Putty swung it’s clumsy fist at her head and instead of grabbing it and twisting, forcing it to the ground like she would have, she ducked. The Putty connected with the side of Zack’s head and he went down. He stayed down, unmoving, until all the Putties had been eliminated and Jason was by the fallen ranger’s side.

Panic rose in Trini’s throat like bile. The moment was too reminiscent of the most recent tragedy. Trini felt her stomach jump and she turned to the side, bending over herself as she emptied the contents of her stomach. Billy’s hand was on her shoulder, squeezing gently.

“He’s okay, Trini. Just a concussion, probably.” Billy gave her a soft look.

“He’s right, T.” Jason hefted Zack into his arms, bridal style. “Zack’ll be fine. We just have to get him to Zordon.”

Being in the ship for the first time since Kimberly’s death was almost as bad as the actual scene itself. Trini almost ran as they approached the cliff, but she didn’t. Kimberly would have wanted her to keep going. Trini almost ran again later when Zordon asked to speak to her privately. But she stayed. For Kimberly.

“Trini. Thank you for finally gracing us with your presence.” Zordon shifted so he was right in front of her, his gaze boring down on her like a ton of bricks. He was angry so she said nothing. “You are putting your team in danger, abandoning them like that!” Zordon shouted, his voice causing the cave to rumble a bit. “You are a Power Ranger! You can never abandon your duties like that. What would you have done if Lord Zedd had returned? What would you have done if something even worse had appeared? You haven’t trained in weeks. You are out of shape and your negligence is going to get the rest of your team killed!”

Trini's chest heaved as she fought to remain calm. But the white hot anger was too much to ignore, “Fuck you, Zordon! You’re one to talk. Where’s your team, huh? Oh, that’s right. Dead! They’re all dead because of you! Kimberly died because of you. You’re supposed to protect us. You’re supposed to teach us. You failed again.”

Zordon’s wall shook as he bellowed, “Get out! You are no Power Ranger! Kimberly Hart died a true Power Ranger, but you? You disgrace her memory every day!”

Trini didn’t wait around to hear the rest of Zordon’s speech. This time she did run. She ran past Jason who called after her, “Trini? Trini, wait!”

She didn’t stop. She was too afraid. Trini was afraid what Zordon had said was true. She wasn’t a Power Ranger, and she certainly wasn’t honoring Kimberly’s memory. She was nothing more than a broken hearted girl who had let her girlfriend die alone and cold in the streets of Angel Grove.

Trini returned to training the next day. She wasn’t going to let the team fall apart because of her. They deserved better. Kimberly deserved better.

It had been three months since Kimberly Hart had died and Trini couldn’t avoid that street any longer. She couldn’t avoid all the places she and Kimberly had hung out or all the places they had kissed. Of all the things Kimberly had left behind those places were special, especially Kimberly’s diving ledge. The spot they had been sitting when Trini had mustered up the courage to kiss Kimberly for the first time. It was one of the best moments of Trini’s life and she never wanted to forget it.

She had avoided the woods all together since Kimberly, but so did a lot of people. Normally the only hikers were Kimberly’s neighbors, which is why it shocked Trini to find someone already sitting on Kimberly’s ledge.

The girl looked horrifyingly familiar from behind. Trini’s heart almost exploded out of her chest when she first spotted the short raven locks and the pink tank top. She was so overwhelmed she couldn’t even stop herself when she felt the name slip over her lips.

“Kimberly?” the girl whipped around and Trini fell on her butt, scrambling backwards as the girl squinted at her. For a moment Trini thought her mind was playing tricks on her. It was a normal reaction, especially in highly emotional moments for someone’s brain to hallucinate.

The girl was just a hallucination caused by Trini’s grief. _Right_?

That had to be right because the girl looked exactly like one Kimberly Hart. From her soft brown eyes and her bronze skin to the sound of her voice when she said, “Hey, are you alright?”

Trini shook her head, trying to regain her composure as she slowly stood up. “Uh, yeah. I think so.” she couldn’t take her eyes off the stranger before her.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” the girl narrowed her eyes before giving Trini a lopsided smile, “Come sit. I’m not gonna bite.”

Trini swallowed thickly, barely nodding as she did what the girl instructed. “I’m sorry, it’s just, you look so much like my girlfriend.”

“Oh yeah?” the girl continued smiling, her fingers ghosting over something she was turning over in her hands. Trini couldn’t see what it was, but she could’ve sworn she saw a flash of pink. “Is she nice?”

“She’s dead.” Trini frowned.

The girl was silent, “I’m so sorry. That must’ve been horrible.”

“It was.” Trini found herself ready to bare her soul to this stranger. It felt like she had known her for years.

“Did you love her?” the girl asked softly, her feet kicking back and forth in the open air. A quirk Kimberly had had that drove Trini nuts. She could never just sit still. She was constantly moving.

“More than anything.” Trini smiled remembering the small smirk that would cross Kimberly’s lips whenever they had the same exchange.

It was Kimberly’s favorite thing to ask, “Trini, do you love me?”

Then, the smirk when Trini would reply, “More than anything.”

The same smirk that the girl sitting next to Trini on the ledge was wearing. “I know she loved you too, Trini.”

Trini closed her eyes and leaned in to the other girl, needing to kiss her, needing to know it was all real. But she was only met with air. When she opened her eyes the pink power coin was shimmering in the sunlight.

Trini stifled a sob as she picked it up, feeling the last of it’s life leave in a flash of bright light. She pressed it to her lips.

“Goodbye, Princess.” she breathed. “Watch out for me, would you?” Trini felt the coin over one last time before throwing it into the water. Years later a new girl would find it, a new Pink Ranger would emerge, along with a new group of Power Rangers. Then, Trini would have long moved on, maybe even married, but Kimberly would still be there. Kimberly would still hold her subconscious as she drifted through nightmares, recounted events she could never tell another non-ranger.

Trini would never be alone, not as long as Kimberly was watching over her.

 _Nobody dies alone_. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys, but a Kimberly death fic was long over due on my bucket list of angst. I'm very pleased with this one so I hope you guys like it. As always comments are appreciated and thank you guys for reading!


	9. I'm Heart Sick And Cannot Stand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently at the tail end of a concussion and I was having some trouble typing this so please excuse any weird spelling mistakes or grammatical errors I didn't catch.

_I think I love you._

The words echoed in Trini’s head over and over again. A sick record of anger and resentment stuck on the same damn song. She wished more than anything that she could go back to that moment and change everything. She wished she could unhear the words. Unsee the shape of them forming on Kimberly’s lips. Untaste them as they came to rest on her own tongue.

It was a game of revenge played on her by her own twisted mind. She had tried to repeat the phrase, had tried to feel the words on her own lips, but they hadn’t come. They had stuck at the back of her throat as she ran.

Of course she had run.

What else could she have done?

There was a time when all she wanted was to hold Kimberly in her arms at night. There was a time when she thought that maybe it was possible, that maybe there was more to the way Kimberly had looked at her all those times. There was a time when she had felt everything around her becoming real. She had caught Kimberly’s eyes once and had never let go.

But that was a long time ago. That was before that night on the docks. Before Billy had died and come back. Before that day in the streets with Rita. Before they had fallen to their deaths and risen again.

That was before Kimberly had gone down and had never gotten back up.

She had run from the battle scene. She had heard Jason’s broken sobs in her ears as her own heartbeat picked up. She had felt Zack’s screams as he fell to his knees, beating the pavement with his fists. She had seen the look of pure heartbreak that had crossed Billy’s face when he had first seen them.

She had run with no intent of ever coming back.

_I think I love you._

Kimberly’s voice sung a sweet melody of broken promises every night as Trini walked the streets of California. She didn’t know where she was anymore. Only that she was no longer in Angel Grove. Only that she had blocked out the ranger link. She refused to feel their pain anymore. She refused to feel anything.

She spent her days wandering through cities and broken towns. She spent her nights pacing the streets, unable to sleep. She had no clue how many weeks, or even months, had passed before she realized the power coin had disappeared from her jacket pocket.

Trini was a Power Ranger no more.

It didn’t matter. Without Kimberly by her side there was nothing worth fighting for. Trini tried her hardest to forget her old life. She tried to push the memories out of her head, tried to force herself to kill any connection she had to the boys, to her family, to Kimberly.

It occurred to her one day, possibly six months that she’d been gone, that she had no clue if the boys were dead or alive. She saw the Power Rangers on the local news stations from time to time, but they never revealed their identities. The public didn’t even know that the Pink and Yellow Rangers were two completely different girls.

Trini was sitting in a coffee shop one morning in a rundown little town that reminded her of Angel Grove when a video popped up under the _News_ notifications on her phone. It was a civilian video of the rangers fighting a group of Putties. Her focus was drawn to the Black Ranger for a moment and she couldn’t figure out why. Until she saw it; his fighting technique. It was no longer scrappy and impulsive. It was tight and close to his body. He fought like he had been training in martial arts his whole life. Zack had never once taken a martial arts class.

Trini’s phone made a loud clattering sound as it dropped to the floor. Several people looked up from their coffees and newspapers to see what the commotion was, but Trini didn’t care. She was already outside, on her knees, retching into the streets.

She wondered when it had happened. She prayed to everything she did and didn’t believe in that it had been quick and painless. The tears came quick and flowed endlessly.

Trini found herself in a motel room, empty bottles of bitter tasting liquor surrounding the bed. Zack came to her in her dreams. Kimberly was usually beside him.

_I think I love you._

Kimberly didn’t seem to know another phrase. Zack could never find his words. The dream normally brought her to the mine where they had met. Zack would sit proudly on his train car with Kimberly perched next to him.

Some nights Trini would weep to them, beg them to take her with them. Other nights she would tell them of her life on the road, how horrible and lonely it was. How much she wish she could go home.

She missed Billy. She needed Jason. She wanted them all.

Zack would only smile at her softly, nodding as she spoke. He would hug her when she cried, hold her tight against his chest as sobs wracked her body. Kim would stroke her hair, kiss the tear streaked skin of her cheeks.

Trini would awaken feeling like a child.

Trini would awaken feeling broken.

The hole in Trini’s heart was evident. She could feel the air breaking through it with every passing day. After two years on the road Trini had grown so accustomed to being broken, to being lost and forgotten, that she had given up on ever feeling alive again.

That’s what the lingering pain was. She had passed the stage of grief. She had been burdened with the guilt of failing Zack, and her conscious was heavy with the words she had never reciprocated, but that’s not where her pain was coming from. Every morning was ripe with the pang of being forgotten, left behind by the love of her life and the brother she had abandoned.

Trini wasn’t sure if what she craved was death or an endless sleep. At least in her dreams she was able to touch Kimberly, able to feel the warm press of the other girl’s lips on her own. In her dreams she was able to feel the comfort of Zack’s embrace, taste the smell of his cologne on her tongue.

Trini wasn’t sure if she wanted to die or just sleep forever. Either one would have been better than dragging her feet over unkempt pavement, better than finding herself tumbling down a pit of darkness every time she saw a girl who looked a little too much like Kimberly, every time she heard a laugh that reminded her a little too much of Zack’s.

Some days she would see a young boy and his mother and she would be reminded of how much Zack loved his mom.

Trini wanted to say she hoped the woman was being well cared for, but in truth she actually hoped she hadn’t lived long past Zack’s death. They were all each other had. Neither of them could have lived without the other.

Trini hadn’t expected to run for so long. No, she had never intended to go back, but she had never thought she would find herself without a home two years later. This thought would cross her mind every so often and she could only come to the same conclusion: Her home had been in Angel Grove, with her friends. Without them she was nothing. She had nothing. So she ran.

Of course she ran.

What else was there left for her to do?

 

_I think I love you._

The three year anniversary of Kimberly’s death found Trini sipping whiskey from a flask, her eyes set on the cascading rolls of the ocean. She could count on one hand how many times she and Kimberly had been to the ocean together. It was one of Kim’s favorite places and they didn’t go enough.

“Hey.” a soft voice startled Trini from her drunken stupor.

She glanced up. A tall – well, taller than her – girl was smiling down at her. Her brown eyes and chestnut hair glinted in the late afternoon light.

Trini grunted in response and took another swig out of her flask.

“Rough day?” the girl asked taking a seat beside Trini slowly, as if she was afraid she might scare her off.

“Rough life, actually.” Trini responded. The girl was pretty. She had gentle features and a comforting smile. She was pretty, but she wasn’t Kimberly.

“I’m sorry.” the stranger said, her voice was smooth. It lacked the bright, honey-like sultriness that Trini had fallen for all those years ago.

Trini scoffed, “What are you sorry for? You didn’t kill my girlfriend and murder my best friend.”

“Wow.” the girl muttered. “You weren’t kidding.”

They sat in peaceful silence for a while. At one point Trini had even offered up the flask and the girl had taken it, coughing when the burning liquid hit the back of her throat.

“I’m Tommy.” the girl said as they watched the sun set over the water.

“Trini.” Trini replied.

“What’re you doing out here all alone?” Tommy asked. “This isn’t the first time I’ve seen you around either. You always seem to be there. No matter where I go, I always seem to find you. You’re always alone.”

Trini shrugged finishing off the last of the liquor and stowing the empty flask in the pocket of her bomber. “I don’t really have anyone.” she squinted into the sunset, “Kim died three years ago today. I ran away and I’ve been running ever since. Zack died six months later. Maybe less. I’m not sure.”

Tommy watched her carefully, “How’d it happen?” Trini’s scowl deepened and Tommy frowned at herself, “I’m sorry. That was heartless. You don’t have to answer-”

“No. It’s fine.” Trini let out a breathy laugh, “If I told you, you would never believe me.”

Tommy smiled again. “Try me.”

“I’m a Power Ranger. Well, I was. I’m not anymore.” Trini chewed her lip anxiously. There was no reason she couldn’t tell Tommy, right? She wasn’t a ranger anymore. She was hundreds of miles from Angel Grove. Zordon couldn’t punish her.

“Why not?” Trini glanced at the other girl. Tommy was just staring, her expression blank. Trini couldn’t tell if she really believed her or not.

“I told you, I ran away.” blood washed over Trini’s tongue, mixing with the bitter taste of the whiskey, as she bit down on her lip a little too hard. “Kim, she was the Pink Power Ranger. She died in battle. I ran away because she loved me and I never got the chance to tell her I loved her back.”

Tommy’s hand found it’s way to Trini’s knee. It was warm and comforting. Trini began to cry.

“The last words she said to me were _I think I love you_. I ran away and that afternoon the Putties were back. It was a fluke. I still don’t know exactly what happened. Kim went down and she never got back up.” Trini sobbed. Tears mixed with snot as she wiped her sleeve across her face. She didn’t care how stupid she looked.

“I ran away because I was scared. I’ve never loved anybody the way I loved Kim. She was this explosion of everything good in the world and it scared me. When she told me she loved me I couldn’t believe it. The words surprised me. I wanted to tell her I loved her. I was going to do it once the Putties had been eliminated, but by the time I got to her body I couldn’t think straight. She was looking at me, she wanted me to say something but my voice was trapped in my throat. She died in my arms and I ran away.”

Trini clutched her chest as she screamed, her breath leaving in a rush of anger and pent up emotion. “I stopped being the Yellow Power Ranger the moment I realized I wasn’t strong enough to get past Kimberly’s death. A superhero is supposed to be strong and I wasn’t. I didn’t deserve to be a ranger just like I didn’t deserve Kim’s love.”

Somehow Trini ended up in Tommy’s arms. The tears were never ending. Tommy simply held her, rocking her as the night set in, she hummed a soft tune as Trini let out three years worth of emotion she didn’t realize she was capable of feeling.

“I left my best friends to keep Angel Grove safe. I didn’t know Zack was dead until I saw a video of them fighting six months later. I knew Zack’s fighting style like the back of my hand. I used to spar him all the time. I knew all of his tactics, all of his patterns. The Black Ranger in that video was a stranger to me.”

Eventually Trini had cried herself out. She didn’t move from Tommy’s arms, though. She was drunk and upset. It was easy to pretend the arms wrapped around her were more muscular, smelled more familiar.

“They come to me in my dreams every night. The only time I feel like I’m whole again is when I’m with them. The only reason I haven’t drank myself to death yet is because I’m worried there’s nothing after this. What if I do it? What if I actually do it and then there is nothing but darkness after this? I’ll have lost them forever.” Trini’s voice cracked, she could feel her throat closing again.

“It’s alright.” Tommy spoke finally, her hand cupping around Trini’s face, holding her tight. Trini closed her eyes, wrapped her arms around Tommy’s waist, pretended she wasn’t a stranger. “You’re okay. I’m here.”

“I don’t want to lose them.” Trini whispered.

 

Months passed after that night and suddenly Trini wasn’t alone anymore. Suddenly Tommy’s hand was in hers. Suddenly Tommy was in her space. Suddenly Trini was waking up in Tommy’s bed and suddenly Trini was catching herself as the name _Kimberly_ tried to slip through her lips when she was addressing Tommy.

It wasn’t healthy. Trini knew what she was doing. She just didn’t know if she cared. She felt empty inside, and it was easy to pretend in the dark. But it stung in the morning when the light crept in and Trini was opening her eyes to soft chestnut brown hair, instead of the raven locks she missed so much.

Trini stopped keeping track of time. The days all blended together in her mind. It was hard to differentiate them, especially when they all started with her waking up in the wrong bed and ended with her practically drinking herself to an early grave only for Tommy to drag her home and hold her as she wept.

Eventually Tommy was holding Trini against her chest, whispering those horrible words against her skin.

_I think I love you._

Trini wanted so much to repeat the phrase. She wanted it so much it hurt. But she was weak.

Trini was weak, so she ran.

Of course she ran.

She no longer expected anything more from herself.

She wanted to love Tommy, but she didn’t think she would ever be able to say the words without picturing the hurt on Kimberly’s face as she failed to do so that dreaded morning so many years ago.

Trini wanted to, but she was broken. So she ran.

Of course she ran.

How else could she escape those horrible words?

_I think I love you._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Wounded by Keaton Henson. Oh boy this fic was a ride to write. I know it's angsty (I'm currently working on a fluff piece) and I'm sorry, but I really enjoyed writing this and I'm very happy with how it turned out. I really hope you guys like it as much as I do :)


	10. Girls Love Girls And Boys (And Love Is Not A Choice)

It wasn’t the insistent beeping of his alarm clock, nor the sounds of his little sister burning her eggs, or even the pounding coming from the garage that woke Jason up before his usual eleven o’clock arousal time one Sunday morning. No, it was the bubbling of burning heat in his gut the was becoming more than uncomfortable.

It wasn’t the cool April air, nor the beautiful scenery, or the fact that his knee no longer throbbed when he exercised that made Jason decide to run an extra twelve miles that morning. No, it was the uncontrollable burst of energy that forced him to bypass his house completely and head straight for the mountain path he used to run with Kimberly.

Jason was beginning to grow accustomed to these new feelings, these new bursts of energy. It didn’t mean he was happy about them. In fact he hated them, wished he could shut them off completely and go back to being plain old Jason Scott, star quarterback.

Okay, maybe he didn’t hate them _that_ much. He just hated where they were coming from, hated that every time he was forced awake too early, every time a sudden burst of energy caused him to run another full marathon, he couldn’t keep himself from remembering just how good it felt when _he_ was the cause of those feelings.

As the house came into view Jason couldn’t help but slow down a bit, hoping that maybe Zack and Tommy were the ones sneaking around. Of course he knew that wasn’t true. He debated ringing the bell and asking if she wanted to grab a coffee or something but he knew she was likely far too preoccupied. In fact, Jason’s anxieties were confirmed when he jogged past the bedroom window.

Trini was leaning against the windowsill, her bare back to the outside, she seemed to be laughing at something. A bubble of disappointment began to build itself up in Jason’s gut.

He had asked Kim to dinner a few months ago and they had gone out, had a good time. Being with Kim had made him happier than he had been in months, and waking up next to her the next morning only lifted him higher in his euphoric state.

Jason had floated through training the weeks after he and Kim became official. He was soaring, unbeatable, nothing could take him down. Except Kim herself.

She had pulled him aside one day, taken his hand in hers and smiled gently, “Jason,” his heart plumetted, “We can’t be together.” Kim had said, dropping her eyes to the floor, “I’m sorry.”

Kim had begun to walk away but Jason had grabbed her by the wrist, “Wait, can I ask why? I though we were having a good time.”

Kim didn't turn around. “There’s someone else. I’m sorry.”

The hurt in Jason’s chest was replaced by anger, “Who?” he practically growled, “Who is he?”

Kim didn’t answer. She left Jason alone in the pit to absolve his anger in the form of destroying Putties.

Now, standing in front of Kim’s house, Jason wanted to say he hated her, but in truth he didn’t. If she didn’t want to be with him that was fine. He didn’t really care. Between his Ranger duties and trying to get through the last couple months of high school a girlfriend was the least of his worries. But that didn’t change the fact that if Kim called he would be on her doorstep in exactly four minutes and seventeen seconds.

Whatever Kim wanted Jason could deal with. It was the lying that tortured him. He couldn’t stand there and listen to Kim go on about an imaginary boyfriend. Especially when he knew who she was really messing around with.

Jason had always had a thing for Kimberly Hart. Their getting together was inevitable. He was the star quarterback she was the head cheerleader, they were basically married in the eyes of the student body. Jason was okay having a crush. He could deal with that. He could cover it with quirky remarks and subtle hints, he could ignore it. He had never anticipated actually falling for Kim, though.

His feelings had only grown more intense as their relationship had become closer during the early months of training. His feelings were more or less a distraction to say the least and he knew Kimberly felt something for him as well. He wasn’t stupid.

It didn’t bother Jason that Kim was with Trini, it only frustrated him. He couldn’t understand how Kim could have kissed him the way she did, how she could have held him, dragged her nails down his back, whispered his name with shallow breaths all the while thinking about Trini.

Jason shook his head angrily as he picked up the pace again, sprinting past Kim’s house, continuing his run. Subconsciously punching himself for resenting Trini, hating himself for wishing Kim would push the one person who seemed to make her happy to the side so that he could have her all to himself once more.

But of course it wasn’t that simple. Jason couldn’t just walk up to Kim, as much as he wanted to, and demand she love him back.

It took Jason weeks after they broke up to realize he and Kim never were _official_. He was a mask, her cover story, a simple alibi. Kim had loved Trini from the second they had met in the mines, yet she needed Jason.

Leave it to Kimberly Hart to make something so simple so complicated.

Kim wanted Trini.

Kim _needed_ Jason.

_Kim needs to figure out what the fuck she’s doing_. Jason thought bitterly as he picked up the pace, blowing out a burning lungful of air. He wanted to be her friend, be her support system. Hell, he wanted whatever was best for his team. He would be whatever was best for the team, whether it was Kim’s boyfriend or her best friend, but the one thing he wouldn’t be was a cover story for someone who was too ashamed of themselves to admit their feelings.

Don’t get him wrong, Jason understood how confusing it must have been for Kimberly, and likely how hard it was to accept something that no one on either side of the sexuality spectrum seemed to understand. He had been standing next to her that day in Krispy Kreme when Amanda Clarke had come in going off about how wrong and horrible it was that some boy at their school had had multiple boyfriends as well as girlfriends in his past. Jason had seen the look on Kim’s face when Amanda had openly said bisexuality was just a fancy word for being confused. It was awful.

Jason understood why Kim had felt the need to hide. He was taking the loop a second time, nearing Kim’s house again, when he suddenly felt like a jerk. Kim was one of his best friends, she was going through something he couldn’t begin to comprehend and here he was thinking about himself. That was not who Jason Scott was.

Jason Scott was not a self-centered, overly-entitled jerk who got angry over a girl who didn’t like him back.

Jason Scott was a Power Ranger, a leader, a _hero_.

As he slowed to a stop in front of Kimberly’s house he knew what he had to do.

 

“Jason?” Kimberly answered the door pulling a yellow flannel tighter around herself, Jason tried not to think about how she was _only_ wearing that flannel. “What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry,” he said shaking his head absently, “I shouldn’t have come.”

Jason started to back away but Kim grabbed his wrist. “No,” she glanced at him worriedly, “Jason, you look like hell. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

Jason took a deep breath, biting the inside of his cheek as he saw Trini appear at the top of the steps in a similar state of undress. “Listen, Kim, I’m in love with you. I have been for a while.”

Kim’s worried expression softened as she tilted her head, leaning against the door frame. “Jason-”

“No, let me finish.” everything had become clear to him in that moment. Jason was their leader. These girls were his teammates and he wanted them to be safe, but more importantly he wanted them to be happy and to be loved. They were a family and families wanted that for each other. “I love you, Kim, but you don’t love me back, because you love Trini.”

Kim’s eyes grew wide and her shoulders tensed. She pushed herself off the door frame and frowned, “Jason, what are you-”

“Kim,” he said, cutting her off once more, “Let me finish!” he grinned exasperatedly. “I didn’t choose to love you, just like you didn’t choose to be bisexual.”

“I’m not-” Kim started but stopped. “I’m sorry for everything I put you through, Jase. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You’re right, though. I can’t choose who I love, and it’s been something I’m trying to figure out. I don’t know if I’m ready to label myself yet, or if I’m ready for all of you to find out about me and Trini. I’m still trying to figure some things out for myself.

Jason smiled and gently took Kim’s hand, “No matter what, Kim, we’re a family, and we’ll all be here for you when you feel comfortable telling us whatever you need to tell us. You’re you, Kim, and that’s all that matters.”

Kim’s eyes shone with tears as she smiled up at Jason, “Thank you, Jase, for everything. I’d hug you but-” she gestured at her bare legs, “You know.”

Jason laughed, “I do. I’ll see you at training tomorrow. You too, Trini!” he called into the house and watched Trini’s head disappear from where she’d been peering around the corner at them.

Kim laughed happily, “Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

Jason left Kim’s house feeling happier than he had in a long time, and when a small burst of energy ignited in his gut, that he could only figure came from Kim kissing Trini, he suddenly didn’t mind the extra few miles added to his run. As long as his family was happy, so was he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles from Girls/Girls/Boys by P!ATD. I wrote this in like an hour so sorry for any mistakes. Anyway, thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Just a bunch of oneshots posted at random. Comments and critiques are welcomed and appreciated! Also be sure to check out my tumblr mmpranger-things if you want to chat or yell at me about how this is supposed to be fluffy but is mostly angst. Thank you all for reading!


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